The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley Book Review

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating is a book that offers insight into how to approach your relationships as opposed to your sex life.  Andy Stanley describes sex as being easier than a relationship. Andy is a pastor who has been in a successful marriage for years.  He voices opinions about people who try to ignore sexuality and do not guide their children in their relationships, dating, and sexual encounters.  Andy is a realist. He can come across very forward when you start to read into the words within the book.  He does not believe in fairytale love, and thinks that if you expect that – you have not grow up yet.  Zondervan | Paperback | March, 2013 | 144 pp

The book is something that was a little too crushing for me at moments.  I think it brought out more negatives than positives in love and sex.  There still should be something mysterious for people to imagine can happen.  I am by no means blind to all the work and hardship that is put into a relationship, and have no doubts that people are having sex thinking that they are saving their relationship.  However, there are parts of love and relationships that can be similar to a fairy tale.  This book lacked sections that made you feel hopeful. Throughout the book he taunts you to keep reading.  It is like he knows that he is losing people’s interest.  Although he might have been trying to be funny, saying things constantly such as:

       “If you’re a high school student whose parents are paying you to read this book, you can skip ahead and collect your cash.”

I do not feel like heckling a reader is going to make them want to continue to read their book.  I understand that life is not a fairy tale but better thought out tips could have been given.  Instead, it seems like he was telling you what you are doing wrong, instead of how to fix it.

Also, as a pastor, the Christian way of life was constantly being brought up in the book.  I admire someone being very dedicated to their religion.  However, it seemed as if he was separating his advice between Christians and non-Christians.

Overall, I do not think Andy got his point across successfully.  I do think he had the right idea in mind which was to educate people in love, sex, and dating.  It should not be as taboo as many people feel it is. If people talk about it and raise children to be accepting and respectful, the world will have more successful relationships as well as healthy sex lives.  However, the content could have been conveyed in a much better and more supportive way.

Good Information



This book give great tips but is also very straight forward. Andy is not someone who treads lightly when trying to get his point across and tells you within the first few sentences that he is not a believer in fairytales.

Alyssa is an avid reader. She tries to get people's opinions on what their last interesting read was any chance she gets. She lives in the Boston area and thinks it is the perfect place for a bookworm. She holds a Bachelors in Communication and just finished her MBA with a concentration in marketing. She is also starting a certificate in Computer Science this summer. If anyone every has any questions about Alyssa feel free to email her at

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